The 1 Time It’s OK to Cheat on Your Partner

304

No, we are not about to give you a free pass to cheat. | iStock.com/karelnoppe

The 1 Time It’s OK to Cheat on Your Partner

Cheating isِ a surefire wayِ toِ hurt yourِ partner.
It ruins trust andِ can lead toِ theِ endِ of yourِ union.
Wondering whatِ circumstances canِ make thisِ hurtful act acceptable.

For starters — no, we don’t condone cheating!

Infidelity isِ a no-go.
We aren’t suggesting youِ goِ out ofِ your wayِ toِ makeِ itِ okay, either.
Most reasons forِ cheating areِ bad excuses — excuses thatِ manyِ people seemِ to makeِ inِ their relationships.

Cheating is more common than we’d like to admit. | iStock.com/rez-art

Unfortunately, it’s hard to gauge how common it is

There haveِ beenِ a plethora ofِ studies doneِ on theِ frequency ofِ infidelity.
The reason.
It’s a sensitive subject thatِ mostِ people don’t wantِ toِ talk about.

And where does the urge to cheat come from anyways?

There areِ many reasons thatِ canِ make oneِ — orِ bothِ — members ofِ a couple cheat.
A lack ofِ sexual orِ emotional satisfaction frequently leads someoneِ to cheat onِ their partner.
In someِ cases, oneِ member ofِ the couple hasِ alreadyِ been cheated onِ andِ wants “revenge sex” toِ feel vindicated inِ the situation.

How both parties can be affected by infidelity

The urge is a powerful thing. | iStock.com/nd3000

Cheating doesِ more thanِ break theِ bond ofِ trust inِ a relationship.
The cheat-ee willِ likelyِ walk awayِ with lowered self-esteem, andِ experience sadness thatِ canِ manifest intoِ depression.
But theِ cheater doesn’t makeِ itِ out ofِ this doingِ so well, either.

There is one time, however…

In theِ instance thatِ you areِ in anِ open relationship, yourِ partner mayِ give youِ theِ go-ahead toِ sleep withِ someoneِ else.
We knowِ this sounds odd — isِ it evenِ still cheating ifِ you getِ permission toِ doِ it.
It’s actuallyِ becoming a moreِ common practice, withِ moreِ andِ more women giving theirِ husbands theِ green light toِ haveِ the occasional fling.

One of you cheated — now what?

It is hard to bounce back from infidelity. | iStock.com/monkeybusinessimages

Let’s sayِ you didn’t getِ the go-ahead fromِ your significant otherِ to sleep withِ someoneِ elseِ — andِ then youِ gotِ caught.
Now whatِ happens.
If youِ genuinely feel awful aboutِ what youِ did, learn toِ forgive yourselfِ asِ well.

Can the relationship recover?

Psychotherapist andِ author Mira Kirshenbaum tells TIME thatِ cheating doesn’t necessarily lead toِ theِ endِ of theِ relationship.
“Just becauseِ people haveِ problems doesn’t meanِ they can’t solve theirِ problems,” sheِ says.
The key inِ saving theِ relationship isِ to recognize thatِ itِ hasِ to beِ rebuilt, andِ that youِ can’t dwell onِ the negative events inِ the past.

Have you ever thought about being in an open relationship? | iStock.com/JackF